A lot of people go into marriage believing it should be easy. While marriage shouldn’t exactly be an uphill battle constantly, it definitely takes a level of work. In order to help your relationship be more successful, both parties must be willing to serve in the best interest of the relationship. If only one partner is making all the effort, there’s a good chance of failure.
To cultivate success, some couples seek marriage counseling. Every couple may not need to seek a professional’s help, but it’s a good idea to recognize the warning signs of a marriage on the brink of self-destruction.
Most communication is negative
No one likes to hear negative words spoken about them. This can affect emotional and mental states. In a relationship, if all the communication between spouses is mostly put-downs, pointless arguments, etc., then you may need a professional to mediate constructive conversations.
Affection is withheld as punishment
Affection should never be used as a weapon or a form of punishment. This could be considered a form of` emotional abuse where one spouse manipulates a situation with the promise of affection or even sexual favors. That’s not to say all situations fall under this category. However, if you notice you are giving/being given ultimatums in exchange of affection, consider professional help.
Your sex life shifts significantly
It’s not uncommon for sex to taper off over time. This is sometimes the natural progression of a relationship when other responsibilities interfere with the ability to find alone time. However, significant changes in the bedroom can signal an issue. Consequently, an increase in sex can also hint at marital challenges. This can point to one spouse trying to compensate for unfaithfulness or immoral behavior.
You don’t feel attracted to your spouse
Physical attraction in a marriage is important and it can be a sign of compatibility and overall happiness. If you find yourself not attracted to your spouse or you notice that attraction seems to wane, you could be experiencing some problems. A lack of attraction to your spouse can also cause a major shift in your sex life or level of intimacy.
You don’t respect each other’s opinions
Everyone wants to feel as though their opinion matters. You may not always agree with your spouse about a particular topic or situation, but there must be a level of respect when disagreeing. If you find yourself refraining from speaking your mind for fear that your spouse will ridicule you for your opinion, there is a problem. This can also mean you’ve lost a certain amount of trust in your spouse to divulge your inner most thoughts and feelings.
Children pretend there isn’t fighting in the home
It may surprise you to learn that your children are more aware of strife in the home than you realize. Older children especially can be negatively affected by a crumbling marriage or constant fighting. If you notice your children overlooking fights or telling others his or her parents never fight, that could be a red flag.
It’s important to pay attention to the signs that your marriage may be in trouble. At North Brooklyn Marriage and Family Therapy, our master-level, state-licensed clinicians want to help you and your spouse build back your relationship. Contact us today and find out how marriage counseling can be beneficial for the health of your marriage.