Choosing the right partner is no easy endeavor. After all, many of us seem to fail miserably at it.
However, there are a few clues you can look for in order to find out if you’re on the right path.
Being in love temporarily blinds us, especially if we’re at the beginning of our relationship. This is why it’s so important to ask ourselves what traits we might be overlooking and how they can affect us in the long-run.
Here are a few mistakes even the best of us make when choosing a partner, as well as how we can correct them!
1. Don’t treat your partner as someone who needs saving
We can’t love what someone may become. There are many ways in which we can delude ourselves about our partners, especially if everything seems to be in place but one thing is missing. In many cases, the missing element is the capacity of the partner to commit to a long-term relationship or quitting a bad habit.
We must understand that a partner, no matter how special, can’t change the mindset of someone else. People aren’t serial cheaters or addicted to substances because they haven’t found the right person to love them, despite what they may say.
We have to be careful not to be fooled into believing that people can be easily changed by their partners. In the end, we might get hurt believing we weren’t good enough to change them, when in fact nobody can.
2. Make sure they’re interested in your well-being
Many people ignore this warning sign. Loving partners inquire about our days, try to lift us up when we’re feeling down, or are constantly looking for new ways to connect with us.
At the other end of the spectrum, there are partners who don’t seem to have much interest in our daily lives, partners who rarely ask what’s wrong with us and who rarely show interest in the things we love.
3. Negative traits shouldn’t outweigh positive ones
Before we move to the next phase in our relationships, we have to ask ourselves if someone’s pros outweigh their cons.
It may help if you write down the qualities and flaws of your partner in two separate columns before you make the decision.
No partner is perfect, but there are a few ways we can get better at picking who we allow into our lives. And once we do, we may still a little help along the way. Schedule appointment with one of our couple therapy specialists and ensure that your new relationship gets off on the right foot.