Whether you’re married or living with your long-term partner, sharing a living space with a significant other can be difficult, especially during a lockdown. If you’re beginning to notice a lack of empathy in the man you walked down the aisle with, then you may be dealing with a husband or partner that is a narcissist.
Without jumping to conclusions by looking at just some personality quirks your S.O.’s been exhibiting, let’s take a step back and look at this man’s behavior as a whole.
You might be wondering, is my husband a narcissist or just self-centered? While a narcissist can exhibit many of the traits of a selfish individual, there are some specific quirks you should be looking out for.
Oftentimes, individual or couples therapy will be your best solution.
What Are Some Common Traits Of A Person With Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?
There’s much more to a man with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) than just simply being self-centered. Here are ten major indicators:
- He Makes Every Conversation About Him
A man who was put on a pedestal as a child and had parents who catered to his every need could very well exhibit narcissistic traits. Did your husband grow up an only child?
This might be something to consider, as only children are used to being the center of attention. Unless taught early on, these children can carry these traits of entitlement and self-centeredness into adulthood. This isn’t to say that all only children are narcissists, but it’s worth noting.
- He Expects You To Place All Your Attention On His Wants And Needs
Do you often find yourself placing all your time and attention catering to his every need? Maybe you’re spending your days cooking, cleaning, running his errands, or even taking care of your little ones at home without any help. If so, you may be dealing with more than just a self-centered man.
A narcissist will be so focused on himself he won’t even realize you may have wants and needs. Has he ever asked what he can do to help you? Have you ever heard him say, “Don’t worry, honey–I’ll cook dinner for us tonight so you can have a break.”? A narcissistic man wouldn’t stop to think twice about anyone other than himself.
- He Doesn’t Show His Appreciation For You
Random acts of love are the simplest way to show someone you love just how much you truly care for them. These romantic gestures don’t have to be anything more than a kiss on the cheek or simply a “thank you” for all that you do. If your partner isn’t showing you he appreciates you it some way, it should raise a red flag
- He Claims Only He Knows What’s Best For You
A caring partner may offer up his advice when you need it but should ultimately let you be the one to make the decision that’s best for you. By contrast, a narcissist will exhibit controlling behavior and try to discourage you from making your own decisions.
- He Never Admits Fault
It might be difficult to admit we’re wrong sometimes, but an adult that’s truly in the wrong should be capable of admitting it and moving on. A man that cannot seem to find it in himself to admit fault even when he’s done wrong is a telltale sign of a narcissist.
- He Always Wants the Spotlight
While self-centered people crave attention and may talk about themselves a lot in conversation, they’re still capable of listening to others. A narcissist will not only seek attention but will never truly listen to others when they speak.
A narcissist may listen, but don’t be fooled–it’ll only be to jump at the opportunity to make a conversation about them and all their achievements.
- He is Close-Minded And Blames You For All His Wrongs
A narcissistic partner is incapable of seeing the bigger picture and will be one to shut down those with views not like their own. A good partner can entertain ideas that are not his own rather than acting immaturely by refusing to see other perspectives.
He might also be manipulative and find ways to accuse you of things he’s doing. A narcissistic husband who’s been unfaithful will look for any chance to turn the attention away from himself and on to you. He may, for example, start an argument with you over why you’re 30 minutes late coming home from work and try to accuse you of cheating.
- He Throws Tantrums When He Doesn’t Get His Way
Much like a toddler when you tell them “no more candy,” a narcissistic man is like a spoiled child that throws a fit when he doesn’t get his way — yes, even if it’s unreasonable. These fits of rage don’t necessarily have to be overt fits of anger — they can be passive-aggressive behaviors as well.
- He Thinks He’s Superior To Others
Sure, maybe a highly intelligent and accomplished individual will have an heir of arrogance. The difference is, a narcissist will have a superiority complex and an overinflated sense of self.
If you notice your partner often saying things like “I’m better than you,” or “What do they know. They’re a nobody,” chances are you’re dealing with more than just arrogance.
- He Is Two-Faced
Maybe your partner is incredibly charming around others that don’t know him as well as you do. But behind closed doors, there’s another side to him. A narcissistic man might try to put his best foot forward so that others think he’s a catch when in reality, he’s hiding behind a mask.
Get Expert Help
It might be a close call, but if you take a deep dive into your partner’s character traits and quirks, you can sift through the misinformation and figure it out.
If you come to realize you are dealing with a narcissistic husband, don’t hesitate to seek help. A licensed therapist or marriage counselor can help you understand the steps to take when dealing with a man with NPD.
Couples living in and around Brooklyn, New York can rely on North Brooklyn Therapy for all their advice and partner or individual counseling needs. Our licensed therapists are proud to offer Zoom sessions so that you can easily engage in therapy from the comfort and safety of your home.