Anxiety surrounding new relationships is normal. But if your fear of commitment is making it impossible for you to enjoy a long-term romance, it will limit your quality of life. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to help overcome your fear of commitment and eliminate your relationship anxiety once and for all. This article examines relationship anxiety and offers some practical solutions for overcoming it.
What Are Some Reasons People Fear Commitment?
The fear of commitment and anxiety during or before engaging in a relationship is quite common. Reasons often include:
- Fear of rejection
- Afraid of emotional betrayal
- Can’t let down emotional guard
- Don’t want to lose independence
- Trust issues
- Fear of responsibility
Many individuals who grew up in homes that experienced divorce during their childhood also experience relationship anxiety. They don’t want to end up being a part of a relationship that ends up in failure so they close themselves off.
What Can I Do About my Fear of Commitment?
First, it is important to remember that perfect relationships don’t exist. Believing in the fairy-tale relationship fantasy sets up for unrealistic expectations. Going into a relationship understanding that there will be ups and downs helps take away some anxiety. There are several simple steps you can take to help alleviate your fear of commitment, including:
Practice Positive Thinking
Negative thinking often leads to negative outcomes. When entering a relationship it’s imperative to go into it with a positive attitude. It’s easier said than done, and for some, it takes time to “rewire” your thought patterns, but approaching relationships from a place of positivity can make all the difference.
You’ve probably heard the saying “with no risk, there is no reward.” The same goes for relationships. If you don’t put yourself out there, you might miss out on finding the perfect person for you.
No Need To Rush
Don’t put pressure on yourself. Take your new relationship slow at first. Don’t put unrealistic expectations on yourself or your new relationship partner. By slowing things down it allows your relationship to grow at a pace that is comfortable for you.
Have Compatible Relationship Values
Have open and honest conversations about what both of you want in a relationship. When you communicate what you are looking for, it allows for both of you to see if your values are compatible. If they aren’t, you’ll know early in the relationship before it gets too serious.
Before jumping into a relationship, make sure you know yourself. Openly and honestly explore the reasons for your relationship anxiety. Write down what is making you nervous, no matter how silly it seems. Just the simple act of getting your thoughts on paper can help relieve anxiety.
Let Go Of Control
Understand that you can’t control everything. This includes your relationships. To let go of relationship anxiety, allow both you and your partner to have some space to grow. Find some hobbies that are just yours. The act of doing something just for you allows individual growth.
Consider Therapy For Underlying General Anxiety
Sometimes there are other factors at play behind your fear of commitment. Often, those who suffer from relationship anxiety have an underlying general anxiety condition as well. If this is the case, seeing a professional therapist can help you find tools to face your anxiety in life and your relationships.
Stop Looking For Quick Excitement
Some people experience relationship anxiety because they get attached to the emotional feeling of new relationships. A new relationship is always exciting, and it is possible to get addicted to those feelings. But if you are looking to shed your fear of commitment, you’ll need to start looking past the beginning excitement and towards the rewards a long-term relationship can offer.
New relationships are bound to bring about anxiety from time to time. But if your fear of commitment is making you miss out on meaningful relationships, it’s time to seek help. In Williamsburg in Brooklyn, New York, expert counselors at North Brooklyn Marriage & Family Therapy are there to help you get past your fear of commitment. Call the office or book an appointment conveniently online.