When you initially get married, you believe you’re getting the fairytale, complete with a dazzling courtship and happily ever after. What the fairytales don’t tell us is that a relationship takes work. Before you say your “I do’s,” consider if you and your partner need premarital counseling. Here are some trigger points and behaviors that point to the answer “Yes.”
No Communication or the Wrong Kind of Communication
As the old adage goes, “Communication is key.” This especially rings true in a relationship. If you aren’t speaking to your partner, a clinician may help new ways to facilitate communication. If you find yourself finally talking and it’s always negative, making your partner feel shamed, judged, or insecure, you may want to seek a premarital therapist. Negative communication may escalate into emotional abuse, which puts your future marriage on the fast track to divorce.
When Secrets are Kept
You should want to share almost everything with your future spouse. While each of you has a right to your privacy, secrets are a sign of distrust.
If You are Having an Affair or Contemplating One
Fantasizing about an affair can be a sign that something is lacking in your relationship and you are willing to venture outside of your relationship to feel fulfilled again. Before you tie the knot, it is important to find out why you are thinking about an affair or already having one. While some relationships cannot survive an affair, other can, if both partners are committed to the proper therapy.
Being Financially Unfaithful
Financial infidelity can be just as – if not more – damaging than a sexual affair. If you feel like your partner is keeping you in the dark about their spending, it may be a signal to a bigger problem. A therapist can shed light on the issue and ensure it does not carry over as a problem in your future marriage.
If you think you are in need of a premarital counselor, be sure to contact North Brooklyn Marriage & Therapy today. Our facility is equipped with the best clinicians in the state of New York who care about your success. We look forward to hearing from you!